Request for Proposals

The best way to pick a really good cheese
is to find someone who can pick one for you.
But what makes a good cheesemonger?
Call up that friend who works
at the Whole Foods cheese department
and see if he knows how they stock it.
Get the real-deal inside scoop
with a clink of your drinks
and see if it’d be a bother
if he took a look at your plan.

He’ll help you better define
what you’re looking for.

Are you prepared for Gruyere?
Could you settle for cheddar?
Do you want it sliced or cubed —
maybe grated or shredded?
Is it okay with you if the cheese is blue?
Would you be inclined to decline
at the sight of a Mimolette rind?
Do you want semi-soft, semi-hard,
triple cream, or extra sharp?
All of this is the easy part.

He’ll help you make sure
you don’t pick the wrong person.

To make sure they can handle it,
interview every candidate.
Are they smart, are they nice?
Do they eat cheese with rice?
Have they brought cheese before
for a conquistador?
Do they have the credentials
to bake cheese full of lentils?
Better pick a top three
and then have them compete.

But once you’ve narrowed it down, what then?
Well of course you buy cheese from your friend.